i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
