I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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