I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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