Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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