I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
God, I missed his penis.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
