Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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