I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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