He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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