no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and she was petting her beer can
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
