there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
