It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
