Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
