I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
