Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
