so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
