Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
