S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
