oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
