I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
