Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
