your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
