Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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