drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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