just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need water and some morals
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
