So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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