guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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