shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
