god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
