i just wanna soil my oats bro
Say something about gay babies.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
this boner is exhausting
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
