North Korea, Best Korea!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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