dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
