we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
