I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
