I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
