I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
