I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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