If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
