girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
