You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
