how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
only you would photoshop your dick
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
