Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
