I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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