You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
