i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
