What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
