Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Bring me that man meat
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I smell like Dick and happiness
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