That's intense
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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