I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
