I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
