just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
