Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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