yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He did a backflip because drugs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
