So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize