You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
