They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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