So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
