Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You can't motorboat a personality
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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