Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
