What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
