I don't think brook has ever known best
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
